dilemma

do you ever felt it? even just once in your life? I did it now. It's kind of a feeling that makes you difficult to making decision. I just have a decision to the next plan. I mean, it's kind of the things that I want to change. I thought it's just perfect. But no, it doesn't. Perfection doesn't come so easy. It never happen like we want. I got so many tears after all. Many. Maybe, one liter ore more. I don't know. It's just a hurt moment. Becoming someone that have no choices and have an ordinary thing it doesn't make proud of. In just a moment, I feel so underestimated, guilty, alone, and hopeless. And yeah, helpless. What can I do next? I'm in a big dilemma. If I stay, some people will disappointed. But if I keep on, yeah, some people will disappointed and angry. What will you do if you were me? My eyes gone sore. Nobody motivated me here. I feel alone. People I called supporters are far away from me. There's no final decision yet. I'm just afraid. I'm afraid to make another people angry or disappointed. To give in? I think it's not a good idea too. Maybe because it's all about my fault too. I always forgetting Allah when happy, and just remember Him when I confused. I seldom ask for His helps, because there's a little incertitude in my heart. Can I pass it? Without hurt?